My December Whole30

Just got back from a 2-week trip to visit family in Tennessee, North Carolina, and South Carolina.  I was doing well with Paleo eating (not Whole30, but Paleo) up until the trip, and was holding steady in my weight.  Now only 2 short weeks of NOT clean eating later I have gained 8 lbs and have terrible sugar cravings.  So, back on Whole30 I go.  My sis-in-law is joining me this time...always nice to have a partner in crime.

I'm trying to take pics of what I eat this time around, just for kicks.

So on my first day, I do not feel exceptionally hungry, but am jittery and shaky and full of sugar cravings.  I have never had a first day feel this bad.  Whew!  And I've already overdone it a little in the fruit department today (even though I've mixed them with proteins/meals rather than eating them straight up, I've had a banana and an apple today plus a bite of a dried fig roll).  No more fruit today, and no more than one piece and a little dried fruit max from now on.

That's it for now.  I haven't posted for a loooong time because life has been so busy.  Getting near the end of midwifery school, contemplating my future, possibly moving, etc.  It's a lot to think about.

Only half-way

This post is really about two things.  The first is my half-way point in weight loss.  I've been hovering there for the last long while, which I'm sure is why I feel like I'm ONLY half-way there.  Don't get me wrong, I know this is a huge accomplishment, but I just feel stuck.  It is nice to have people compliment your pics, though...like this one that I posted on Facebook from our trip to the Sequoia National Park this weekend:

Great family pic, no?  It makes me smile, looking at our little family.  It also makes me smile that I wasn't huffing and puffing up and down the trails, even with 25+ lb baby on my back (much love to my Babyhawk) because even with him tied onto me I still weighed less and had more endurance than when I started this fitness journey.

This brings me to part two, the long and yucky part, of this post.  I've been doing this half-way for about 2 months now.  I've been maintaining my weight, even lost a stray pound here and there and am definitely toning up, but I'm just not trying 100%.  I've been doing CrossFit 3 days per week (not this last week though, since we have a friend in town) and was actually running 2 days per week as well, until I got tired (after a couple of weeks) and started having a shin splint flare up again.  Now my shins are better but I haven't run.  I eat Whole30 all day until night comes, then snack on crackers and peanut butter.

So now that I'm thoroughly discouraged by my half-way behavior and the results of it, now that I'm owning this flaw, I'm prepared to move forward.  No more half-way.  I'm running again starting tomorrow, CrossFit 3 days per week again starting Wednesday.  Whole30 again starting today (hello, Day 1!).  Additionally, I've felt for a while that I've probably been overdoing it in the fats department, even though they're healthy fats.  So I'm going to use my SparkPeople account (which I haven't opened for months) for tracking for a week or two until I get my proportions straight again.  I just think it'll be helpful for me to see what I'm consuming throughout the day.

I started this in September of last year, in earnest.  My 30th birthday was a huge reality check for me, and was just the thing to kick me in the butt and get me moving.  But I'm creeping up on my 31st birthday now and I'm only at the half-way point when I should really be close to my goal.  I have to start training religiously for the half-marathon in November or I'm not going to be able to finish it.  I need to keep up with CrossFit because it makes me incredibly happy and tired and I like seeing my arms lose the jigglies and gain some definition.

I'm making a determination RIGHT NOW.  I will be at my goal weight before my 32nd birthday.  If it took me a year to get half-way there, surely I can finish the other half in another 14 months.  I desperately want it to be much before my birthday, but one thing is for certain:  I will not have another birthday pass with me being unhappy with my state of fitness.

Back on track

Well, I've been off the beaten path for the last couple of weeks.  I went off for our anniversary and have made a couple of half-hearted attempts to get back on, but have really just been slacking.  I haven't weighed myself or anything and I've continued to exercise, but I don't feel great...I feel bloated and sluggish, so it's time to get back on track.

In order to inspire myself, I put together a little list (on painting paper, with crayon...gotta work with what you've got!) and posted it at my desk in my room.  This is what it says (color and all):

June 18th - Monday
* Back on Whole30 (meets GAPS) (back to back till 31st birthday)
* Stay on!  Print cheat sheets, etc.
* Run 2-3 days per week, CrossFit 2-3 days per week
* Wake up early to exercise if that's what it takes
* No weighing till end of Whole30
* Ship out clothes to Lolo (NO GOING BACK!)
* Be strict - easy on the kombucha, easy on nuts/dried cranberries

Soft Goals
* Be at 2nd goal (no longer overweight, 145 lbs) by my birthday
* Be at goal by November trip (for looks, pics, and weight during events reasons)

Events
* Finish B210K by end of July
* Start 13.1 training beginning of August
* Heart Walk/Run Sept. 22
* Color Me Rad Sept. 29
* Warrior Dash Oct. 27
* 2 Cities Half Marathon Nov. 4

I say "Whole30 meets GAPS" because I'm adding supplements from GAPS and doing more traditional/fermented foods like GAPS, but not actually doing GAPS.  Weighing during my Whole30 is something I have to make a conscious effort not to do...I actually have Travis hide the scale.  I set soft goals in addition to the events because I have some milestone types of things coming up and (yes, this is pure vanity) I would like to look good!  We'll be doing a ton of family pictures, etc.  Not only that, but I have a LOT of events starting the end of September, right around my birthday.  The less excess weight I'm carrying around, the better!  I'm planning on doing the Heart Run for time, to actually try to come in at a certain pace.  On the other hand, I'm trying to recruit some people from work to do this as their first 5k, in which case I would pace with them to keep together as a group.  We'll see how many people join up.

I listed the events because I want to keep them as a focus.  It's been so blasted hot that I've been doing CrossFit but not running for about a month now, which is purely unacceptable if I have a half-marathon in November!  So this next paycheck will buy me a used treadmill so I can run at home/at night/with a fan blowing on me...whatever works.  Meanwhile I'm going to attempt to switch my workout routine to the morning.  That will not come easy for me, as I am not a morning person by any stretch.  But I have to do what I have to do!  I need to register for these events so that I get that swift kick in the pants that comes along with putting money down on something. 

In all honesty, I've gotten complacent and I'm scared to death about gaining a bunch of weight, and I feel cruddy.  It's time.  Back on the wagon.

I have one more week in this term.  Let the cramming begin.

I got promoted to manager at work.  It's been a pleasure to work with the people I used to work with, even though several have moved on to other areas or hospitals.  But a core remains, and I'm looking forward to working more with them and getting to know the new crew.

Altogether new...

Well, this week is a week of new beginnings.

First category: fitness.
I started my 10K training program this week using the Bridge to 10K (B210K) app.  I had a near-death experience running in 94 degree heat in the sunshine (duh...) and resolved to haul my lazy bones out of bed in the morning and run before it gets hot.  I will attempt this tomorrow morning.  My running buddy has be roped in to a 10K on Father's Day, so I need to get crackalackin' to be ready in time.

Finally, I started CrossFit.  The folks over at CrossFit Fresno got me off to a great start and were very encouraging.  The workout of the day (WOD) kicked my butt.  They showed me some basics and helped me correct my form, then gave me my very first "Foundations" WOD.  It was rowing 500 meters, then sets of air squats and pushups, followed by another 500m row.  There were 10 sets of each exercise, decreasing the reps each set...so I did 10 squats/10 pushups, 9 squats/9 pushups, and so on.  My arms and legs are noodles.  Soggy, wet, overcooked, wobbly noodles.  In addition to my sports bra I wear a compression tank to hold the goodies in place, and I couldn't even get it off to shower when I got home because my arms were so noodly.  Holy moly.  I go back Monday.  I'm hooked.  And I won't look like an idiot when I do Warrior Dash.

Second category: nutrition.
I started another round of Whole30 on Monday.  I had a weekend of chocolate cake-eating and highly regretted it.  It took until just yesterday to get my guts straightened out again.

Third category:  work.  
I'm taking an interim position as manager of the floor that I used to work on.  This is inspiring and scary and nerve-wracking and awesome all wrapped up in one ball of insanity.  I've been on orientation with the current manager this whole week (tomorrow is her last day), and I *think* I'm ready.  I just want to do right by the floor, the staff, the patients.

All of the above makes me so tired...must sleep...pillow is calling.

5K race? Check!

Well, I get to check something off of my New Year's Resolution list today...I ran my first 5K!  And afterward I felt great and still had energy.  As Susan, my quasi-coach, coworker, and friend says..."We finished in the upright position, without vomiting, and wanting to do it again!"  I was nervous about finishing without taking a walk break, I'll admit it.  But I did it!  I'll tell you what, having cheerleaders every mile was nice, and coming down the final leg to the finish line with people cheering for you and clapping is an awesome feeling!  

Before the race...

 After the race!  A little more red in the face, but otherwise no worse for the wear!

It was also a pleasure to have been able to do some fundraising for such a wonderful group.  It was a solemn thought...after the race and festivities they released balloons with messages attached to the little ones that we've lost.  There were a lot of balloons.  To think that every person there had been touched by the loss of a baby...solemn indeed.

The boys did great in their races, too!  They got little medals and I'm hanging their bibs on the wall in their room.  As for mine...it's on my Board of Inspiration on the wall beside my desk.  :)  Oh, and I'm off Whole30 for the weekend, starting back on Monday.

Rolling (and running and studying) merrily along...

Warm weather has returned to the Valley!  I'm not especially happy about this as I'm a definite cold-weather gal and I detest the insane power bills that are sometimes unavoidable in the summer in an area where triple digits are the norm.  But warm weather brings pool fun and summer vacation for the boys, so I'm happy about that.  As things heat up I'm going to have to either get used to running in the heat, buy a treadmill, or join a gym.  

Speaking of training, not only is my first 5k only TWO WEEKS from now (squee!), but Trav and I are going to sign up for the Warrior Dash in Hollister happening this October.  I'm really excited about this as it gives me a goal toward which to train.  I've learned that that is THE key to sticking with working out...I need a goal.  Not just a weight loss goal, but a point on a timeline at which I MUST be finished with something that requires training.  Registering for the Angel Babies 5k has really helped me break through my running barriers and keep going.  Oh, and if you'd like to donate to support this wonderful group and us as we run, please click here.  I'm only 2 weeks from the run and only at 10% of my fundraising goal...yikes! Anyhoo, there is a group from the Neuroscience unit who is signing up for Warrior Dash (along with their spouses and even grown children), and we're going to run it together.  It is a 5k obstacle course (think Tough Mudder but only half of it), and I'm going to really have to work on my upper body and core strength in order to complete it.  Oh, and we'll get a fuzzy Viking helmet and a metal when we finish...how stinkin' cool is that?

This is not us...just so ya know...

I'm two weeks in to this Whole30, feeling great and going strong.  True to my usual stick-with-it routine, I weighed myself this morning (yeah, I know, I know...not supposed to weigh for 30 days...but it helps me stay encouraged!!).  I started this Whole30 at 186 lbs (yup, put a few pounds back on during my week off last time), and I am now 178!  I have broken the 180's plane!  Woohoo!  Not only that, but this number puts me only 4 pounds away from my first weight loss goal of 174 lbs.  The link is to my blog post explaining my goals and why I set them.  So, 36 lbs down, 4 more to go till 40 lbs/BMI category of "overweight" instead of "obese"/first goal!  My first goal also puts me just short of the halfway point in my weight loss journey.  NOW, I know that the point of Whole30 isn't weight loss...weight loss follows if you're eating healthier and have excess weight, naturally.  So I have to put in a plug for the health effects of eating clean.  We got a bug.  Typical cold/upper respiratory crap.  And it has been so mild for me that I've wondered several times if it wasn't just allergies.  I've been drinking Kombucha every day and eating well and drinking plenty of water...and it just seems like I'm kicking this bug better.  Nice.  Oh, and I'm not bloated and icky-feeling.  Nice, too.

My scars from my accident have proven to be a pain in the butt...or ankle/shin to be exact.  The area where the boat prop severed three tendons in my ankle has become filled with scar tissue, and the posterior shin splints that I was getting were improving but still present.  Certain movements were causing my ankle to literally lock up and I'd be hobbling around like I had injured myself.  So I went to Ruste, my trusted, wonderful, best-ever-in-the-world chiropractor.  She does crazy myofacial release and I was hoping that she could work wonders on the scar tissue in my ankle.  And work wonders she did!!  It nearly made me cry, and I broke out in a cold sweat from the pain, but I have NONE of the problems that I had before!  Love that lady!

Long-winded post, I know.  But I have one more thing to add.  I joined the birthy group in the area, the Childbirth Resource Network.  This is something that I've been wanting to do for a long time, but I always felt that I wouldn't really be settling here, so why bother?  Well, we've been here for 4 years, so I figured it was time to stop procrastinating.  I want to be involved.  I want to be a part of the change.  I want to help.  I'm excited.

Was it really worth it?

Creme brulee at Fleming's?  Bread?  Cheese?  Holy moly, I have felt like crud for the last 24 hours.  But it was sure fun while I was partaking!  I woke up congested and feeling generally bad, didn't drink hardly any water today, didn't eat really great today either (as in an egg and sausage for breakfast with no veggies, two hard boiled eggs and cantaloupe for lunch), then went running when I got home from work.  I increased again, running in 9-minute increments.  I really feel like I'm getting past some invisible duration hump!  However, around 2.5 miles in my inner calves along my shins started cramping up.  I sat down for a minute and massaged out the muscles.  I attribute this to eating poorly for the last day and drinking next to no water...I think my muscles just didn't have the fuel to make it through!  I did, however, finish my run and didn't bail out in my increase.  Woohoo!  Go me!  Oh, and Whole30 starts again tomorrow.  Booyah.

So, my buddy-ol-pal has entered the blogosphere!  Please go show The Clucky Housewife some love!  She's a real hoot, a fabulous woman, and a wonderful momma to her chicks.  And she has an amazing VBA2C story that will bring tears to your eyes!  I've been friends with her since she was pregnant with her first baby (and me with my second), so I've gotten the privilege of seeing her make the journey that she has made to being an informed, strong, knowledgeable mother.  Go watch her stories/montages about her c-sections, her plan to homebirth, then the subsequent birth of their third.  It's worth your time.   

Another term bites the dust!

That's right!  Another term down!  I got As in all three classes, and I'm totally stoked that I have only 2 classes this coming term.  This last one was not easy...Research wasn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be.

Well, I'm wrapping up the first of my two back-to-back Whole30s.  It ends Tuesday officially.  Although it wasn't quite over, I weighed myself this morning for the first time in nearly a month and found that I am down about 12 lbs this round, making for a total of 30 lbs lost since I started this journey.  Yup, I weighed somewhere between 183 and 184 this morning, and I started at 214!  That's really a lot of weight.  Pick up a 30 lb bag of dog food and carry it around with you for a little while.  That's how much extra weight I was carrying around EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of my life.  It hardly seems possible.  You know what also hardly seems possible?  I fit into a size 14 now!  I started at a 20, could squeeze into an 18 but it was tight.  Now I fit comfortably into a 14.  I can't even recall the last time I wore a 14.  I'm pretty sure it was before I started having babies!  :)  I'm trying to get a couple of friends on board for my next round of Whole30 starting April 4th.  That way we can support each other.

My weight loss so far...

I'm on Week 5, Day 2 of C25K.  I've gone from running in 30-45 second intervals to 4-5 minute intervals.  Next run will be my first 6 minute interval.  I slacked off for a little more than a month due to sickness (pertussis then norovirus...it was a rough month or so) and traveling out of state.  But then I registered for my first race, the 8th annual Angel Babies 5k run to benefit Hind's Hospice's Angel Babies program.  I thought that would be good, and significant for me having an angel baby of my own.  It happens May 5th, and if I stay on task with C25K I will be finished with the program a week before the race.  So when I really don't feel like running, I do it anyway because I HAVE to in order to be ready for my first race.  I also signed the boys up for the kid's fun runs...they get their own t-shirt and bib and everything.  They are so excited!

After I finish that, it's on to Bridge to 10K (B210K), then the half-marathon.  I hung a list of my New Year's resolutions in my office and at my desk at home to remind me.  I really need to stay on it in order to be ready in November.

My new niece, Emma!

So I went back home in February for the birth of my niece.  Little Emma was born while I was there...the day before I left, actually.  My baby sister is a mommy!  She pushed that 8 lb, 3 oz baby out of her tiny little body and I am so proud of her!  It was an action-packed trip that will require a post of its own.  Lots of family stuff.  But one family-unrelated thing happened that was SO awesome.  I went by Rosemary in hopes of recharging my emotional batteries and seeing Harmony for the first time in about 4 years.  She was there and it was so good to see her again!  She showed me the things that had changed and gave me the encouragement and wisdom that had come seeking.  Then the unspeakable happened...she offered me an apprenticeship!  This is something I have been thinking, dreaming, and praying about ever since I started midwifery school, but I didn't know how to ask or if it would even be possible.  It will not count toward my clinicals, but it will be a balancing experience that I NEED.  She offered for me to come down for a month or so during their busiest time to offer another set of hands and to get some practical homebirth, LM-guided midwifery practice.  I tell you, I was walking on air.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Well, 2011 is officially coming to a close.  It's hard to believe, as it feels like the year just started (with me awaiting the birth of my youngest).  In less than a week we will celebrate my babe's first birthday, and a few weeks later the fourth birthday of my middle son.  Amazing.

As for me, I've been AWOL due to end-of-term followed by a week-long trip to the in-laws followed by some time off with the family for the holidays.  I return to work on Monday.  *sniff*  I wish I could just stay home.

I've been off Whole30 since Christmas and have not been running regularly for a couple of weeks, again due to holidays and trying to get things done while I'm home.  I can't WAIT to go back to Whole30 on the January 1st! 

I have a couple of resolutions for this year.  The first is to do two Whole30's back-to-back for a total of 60 days.  I can't think of any way to start the year out better health-wise than to eliminate junk from my diet again.  Although I've been staying off of dairy and (for the most part) grains, I've had sweets and forbidden foods off and on over the last few weeks.  C'mon, green eggs and ham and french toast for Christmas breakfast/brunch is a tradition!  (as are peanut butter balls and ginger-pecan biscotti).  In spite of all of the above, I haven't gained an ounce and have continued to eat well between treats.  The second is to complete C25K and Ease into 10K.  I'm going to go back to week 3 and start from there to get back into the groove next week.  Then my third resolution is to run my first half-marathon (the Two Cities half-marathon) in November of 2012.  I know I can do it.  And I can't wait to cross that finish line and hang my medal on my board of inspiration!

I'm trying to get organized for the coming term (which starts in a week and a half).  In the process of this, I decided to steal an idea from a fellow student and post my program of study on here.  You'll find it in the left-hand column.  I am exactly two years away from being done with school, if I finish on their timeline.  That's two years away from boards.  Two years is NOT long!  I'd actually like to finish a little sooner if possible.  I have a minimum of 675 clinical hours to complete.  If I gauge it just right and end up having to do just that many or slightly more, I'll need about 4.5 months to finish all clinicals at the rate of 40 hours per week (full time).  I don't know yet where I'll be doing clinicals or the work circumstances I'll have going on when I'm doing them, but  if I could do more hours I could get done sooner.  I don't know.  We'll see. 

Anyhoo, back to cooking and organizing! 

I'm Baaaaaaack!

Well, I'm in Phoenix, Arizona for the next couple of days.  My boss sent me and two coworkers to the 30th Annual Barrow Neuroscience Symposium.  Today was the first day, and it promises to be really good!  So far the speakers have been engaging and the topics have been excellent.  I've also gotten to know the newest member of our team better.  She came from Michigan a couple of months ago to fill the Manager position for the unit.  She's literally old enough to be my mother, but we have SO much in common!  It's been really awesome to find out that she loves so many of the same things that I do, and we actually think a lot alike.  She is a very strong personality which I know some people might misconstrue, but I really think she has the well-being of the unit in mind.

So, I started running again today.  Week 2 Day 3 of C25K after a 2-week hiatus due to runner's knee.  I'll tell you what, that was no stinkin' fun.  Since I'm in Phoenix and don't know my way around or the degree of safety around here, I just ran on the treadmill in the fitness room at the hotel.  I wore my new shoes and compressive braces on both knees.  It went very well!  I still have a tiny hint of residual soreness from time to time on my right knee, but otherwise I feel 100%.  My right ankle has been on the weak side ever since my accident and I feel like I land a little harder on that foot than I do my left.  I don't know how to fix that, but I am trying to be aware of it and step lighter.

I'm going back to hard-core Whole30 eating when I get back home.  The bloating and gut issues have been really uncomfortable and it's just not worth it to eat those foods.  Well, the blueberry bread pudding at Switch last night was worth it.  Very worth it.  I DO make good choices though...for dinner I had lettuce wraps with fresh veggies and lamb, and they were super tasty!  I've been eating good food as a whole, with a little wheat here or a little dairy there, etc.  Ick.  Just not good for my body.  So this time the family is going to gradually join me, whether they like it or not.  Ha.  I'll splurge a little at Thanksgiving and Christmas and during our week with the in-laws, but that's all.  Need to eat clean.  Wheat and dairy hate me.

My milk supply has been good so far.  I don't think I brought enough bottles for my expressed milk.  Oops.  I'm going to have to buy some bags.

Well, it's time to study.  Got stuff due this week and I need to make good use of all of this quiet, uninterrupted time.  I miss my crazy family, though.  Really.  A lot.

Um...ouch

Long story short, I developed a very painful case of runner's knee and some additional pain on the inside of my knee because of my weak-ish thighs.  Nice.  Nothing like a reminder that you're out of shape.  Anyhoo, when the knee pain progressed to the point of near excruciating, I stopped.  I figured it had moved from just pain to injury, and needed a break.  I got some supports for my knees and went to Sierra Running Company for gait analysis and new shoes.  They hooked me up with a pair of shoes that should help to correct the slight overpronation in my ankles, and hence help my knee pain.  I'll tell you, taking those short runs on the treadmill and around the store were misery.

So, nearly two weeks later, with the help of Aleve, knee supports, and ice, I'm back to 100% and ready to start running again next week!  Although I haven't run during this timeframe, I do not feel as if I have let anything go or quit anything.  I'm really looking forward to running again!  I have found something that I actually enjoy, and I have goals that I'm reaching toward.

Today is the Two Cities Marathon, Half-Marathon, and Relay.  I have several friends running (or "wogging" as one friend put it!) and it's really inspiring to me.  I WANT to reach that goal for next year.  I WANT to join them!

I went out with a couple of friends Friday night and had some of my favorite food at a favorite restaurant, Rousseau.  Part of this meal was the bruschetta with fresh mozzarella, the goat cheese with roasted garlic and crostini, and the pot de creme, a melt-in-your-mouth chocolate worth-every-bite dessert.  I paid for it the next day, but it was sure yummy!  Again it was confirmed that I don't miss bread, but I LOVE my cheese!  I'm learning that lactose and I don't really get along so hot anymore though.  I weighed myself yesterday, and although I had some candy and a funnel cake at Halloween and the afore-mentioned meal, I haven't gained any weight.  I haven't lost, but I haven't gained.  That's a good thing I guess.  I need to be stricter in my diet (my daily food is Whole 30-compliant, but I have some cheats here and there) and start working out again.  Family pictures are in 20 days and I'd love to lose a little more weight!

My bonding leave starts December 5th.  It'll be nice to have a month off.

I'm flying out to Phoenix tomorrow for a conference.  It'll be the first time I'll have been away from my whole family, including the baby.  I'm bringing my pump, but I'm concerned about my milk supply.  I guess I should bring my More Milk Plus tincture just in case.  It'll just be Monday evening through Thursday evening, but that seems like an eternity.  I plan on getting a lot of school done during the nights, though.  I have some catching up to do.

Anyhoo, that's it, by way of updates.  I hope my re-introduction to running goes smoothly!

Whole30 - Day 31

That's right!  So I jumped on the scale this morning, and the final damage was 19 lbs lost!  :)  I can't believe I went from 214 lb to 195 lb in just 30 days!  In this last week it REALLY tapered down, but I'm sure that's normal.  I've continued on my way though, thrilled at the change the folks over at Whole9 promised I'd have...the life-changing experience of learning to view your food in a whole new way.

For example, my hubby swung us by Wendy's on the way home from work/school.  Once upon a time I'd get a sour cream and chives baked potato (loaded with butter and sour cream, of course), a small chili, and a small frostie.  Instead, when we drove up all I smelled was chemicals.  I picked up the baggy of pistachios that I had stashed away and started noshing.

At work, people are saying "You're done!  Now let's go to Starbucks and celebrate!"  I happily tell them that I'm off sugar and dairy and am staying off because it does weird things to my body.

I am SO grateful for this experience.  It has completely turned the way I view my food, a turn for the better.

I have to say that I celebrated a little bit by frying up a pan of organic uncured bacon...bacon is really less than ideal and this particular one had a little bit of sugar in it.  But it was DELISH.  I am saving all but the couple of pieces that I ate for the soup that I'm making tonight.  And I saved the fat so I can use it to cook eggs again.  I love poached eggs, but dude.  You get a little tired of them day after day.  It would figure that mere days before I was to be done they decided that grass-fed organic butter is fine if it's been clarified.  Wish I had known that 30 days ago!  But it will make the following months a little easier.  Cooking eggs with olive oil is only slightly less gross than cooking them in coconut oil.  Blech.

Time to run.  Week 1 Day 3 of C25K today.  I'm going to try to start improving my time/distance a little bit.  I just need to push myself.  Next run after this starts the next "notch up"...longer runs, shorter walks.  Bring it on.  I'm ready for this!

P.S.  This is post-run Jessica speaking.  My knees are feeling it a little bit today, not so much during my run but after.  I improved both my time (by about 30 sec/mile) and my distance (2.18 mi) today.  I have to admit that I had my first encounter with vanity while running.  I was plugging along on my run segment when two very decent looking men came running toward me.  Just as I was almost to them, my app told me to switch to a walk interval.  They looked at me and cheered me on (must have been looking a little haggard) and told me I could do it...so I kept running...hahaha!  I switched to a walk about 60 feet after we crossed paths, but I must admit I laughed at myself later...and told Trav and he laughed at me too.  It's amazing what a little vanity will do for you!  

The big picture (and the short view)

This week should be a good one.  I hope.  The Neuroscience Symposium that I've been planning and working on for about 6 months is done now.  HUGE deep sigh of relief here.  Until about February, that is, when I'll begin planning all over again!

I need to catch up on school.  That crazy Symposium was a huge time-suck, and I'm a little behind now.  Time to get Dropbox up and rolling and take At Your Cervix' advice and print out notecard-sized notes.  Brilliant.

I also come to day 30 of my Whole30 on Wednesday.  I can't believe I've actually stuck with it.  It's a huge thing, you know.  I'm the ultimate procrastinator and never-finisher.  But like I keep saying, this is my year.  It's time to get my stuff together.

I officially started my C25K program today.  Holy crap that was brutal.  I'm WAY out of shape!  I ended up going a little over 2 miles with 1 minute of running followed by 1.5 minutes of walking.  I'm going to do this three times, then up the ante, as described in the C25K program.  I got a handy-dandy app on my iPhone that lets you play your own music (iPod, Pandora, whatever) but there's a voiceover every however-many seconds/minutes that tells you to run, walk, or cooldown.  It even tells you when you're halfway done!  So, 9 weeks to 5k.  Then I'll bump it to 10k, then a half-marathon.  Yep, it's officially my goal.  I want to run in the Two Cities marathon/half marathon next year.  I also want to be able to run for various groups (for instance, the American Heart Association and Susan G. Komen for the Cure have 5k's in my area every year).  I've joined gyms and not gone, I've tried working out at home and not sticking with it.  Dang it, I'm going to run.

Being that Trav wants to stop at 4 babies, I may only have one more pregnancy and birth ahead of me.  I want to go into that (whenever it is) healthy and fit.  I want to experience labor not as a huffing, puffing, out-of-shape momma.  I want to labor strong.

Whole30 - Day 25

Another day down, 5 more to go.

I have to admit that I'm still shocked about the smoothie incident.  Seriously.  A small Mega Mango (pineapple juice substituted with carrot juice) all-fruit smoothie from Jamba Juice sent me running for the cookies.  I'm glad that I had the willpower to fight back and win, but it's becoming more and more obvious why I find myself overweight today.  Sugar (natural or otherwise) perpetuates a vicious circle in my body.  Prior to now I could have easily had a large smoothie, felt fine, and never realized what was really happening inside of me.

I just got a CSA bin in yesterday and I'm about to go shopping and load the fridge with good food.  Baked okra is the bomb and satisfies my desire for crunch (this curbs my desire for nuts...I like crunchy).  It's so nice to see a fridge full of good, clean food!

I think I almost have Trav convinced to give it a go.  He moans and cries about his nightly bowl of cereal.  NOW I think "holy cow!!  Tons of wheat mixed with dairy...what on earth was I doing to myself?!?"  I have been trying to convince him that he won't even miss it after a few days.  I know I don't, and I could put down some cereal.

We have a family photo shoot at the end of November for our Christmas cards.  I wonder how I'll look and feel then?

Whole30 - Day 24

Well, I guess it's day 24.  It's 2-something am so I guess it's day 25.  Anyhoo, just a short post to discuss a crazy revelation.

I have some CRAAAAZY sugar addictions!  My body reacts to sugar like I'd imagine people react on drugs.  I have a little, then every craving you could imagine is triggered.  Then I feel like crap.  Then I wonder why, and realize what's happening.

This is a good thing...well, a good thing to find out about myself anyway.  I'm going to have to really be careful with sugar.

"SUGAR?!?" you say!  "I thought you weren't eating sugar on your Whole30!"  I'm not.  I just had fruit.  Too much fruit.  Crazy.

An addendum...

I was poking around and noticed that someone hit my blog by searching for "whole30 bad experience nursing". So I figured that I'd answer their search question, assuming that they're meaning "nursing" in the sense of "breastfeeding".

My milk supply has been just fine. My routine is that I pump at work, twice per day during chill days and once per day during crazy days (I work an average of 8 hours per day). I drink water to thirst and do not take any herbs to increase my supply. I have used More Milk Plus in the past, but since it's tinctured in alcohol I haven't used it during my Whole30. I've always had an abundant supply though, so it shouldn't shock me that I still make enough to feed my babe and have enough leftover to milkshare with a friend who is having lactation difficulty.

Anyhoo, I nurse as soon as I get home, then for nourishment and comfort throughout the evening and night. We bedshare and I love it. True, my babe isn't sleeping through the night, but it doesn't really bother me, keeps my milk supply up, and helps us stay close even though I'm gone every day. I roll over with him to switch sides and judging from an approximate number of roll-overs (approximate because I never fully wake up...so I'm a little hazy) he nurses an average of 3-4 times per night.

My nursling doesn't seem to mind my diet...no particular issues with gas or upset tummy. He's as chubby and happy as he could be, so I'm assuming he's properly nourished.

That's about it. Hope that helps if you're wondering if doing Whole30 affects milk supply/nursing relationship.

Whole30 - Day 20

Wow. Day 20. Only 10 more days! Well, I say only 10 more days, but I have every intention of eating this way for a while. I may have a break day at 31 days, have my Pumpkin Spice Latte...but then back to business.

Speaking of Pumpkin Spice Latte, I've found a couple of happy little tricks in the java department. To make my own "Pumpkin Spice Latte", I get a double doppio espresso, then take it home and add about 1/2 cup of coconut milk and fill with water to about a Grande size, then add a few shakes of pumpkin spice seasoning from my cupboard. Awesome. Totally scratches the itch for a good ol' PSL. It's also nice to add a little dash of vanilla extract to my coffee...not that I don't like a mild coconut flavor, but it does get a little every-day. The vanilla complements the coconut taste to the point of masking it. Nice.

I've become a regular at Whole Foods in the Meats and Seafoods departments. They have a clean spicy Italian turkey sausage that makes me very happy. My standard quickie meals have become a link of that over romaine and arugula salad with some olives and olive oil and vinegar. Very satisfying. My salads are huge. I use an entire heart of romaine and a solid handful of arugula in each one. One, and they also have a very nice clean apple and chicken sausage that pairs wonderfully with a few sliced strawberries in the same romaine-arugula-olive oil-balsamic vinegar salad. I try not go crazy with the sausage, though, and make fish, chicken, and meat my staples. You know, come to think of it, every protein I've tried rocks my socks off in the afore mentioned salad. I like salad. Always have.

While I'm staying very true to the eating plan for Whole30, I have to admit that I've weighed myself...which is a no-no. But I find it SO encouraging!! It gives me the willpower to spit out coffee prepared with cream and sugar that my husband so lovingly (and forgetfully) brought to me. It helps me to turn down the pastry at work, and reminds me that I'm doing this for ME. It's MY body that's changing. I am getting healthier. I'm nourishing MYSELF well. So do you want to know my dirty little secret? I've lost 18 pounds in 20 days. Seriously. I'm now 196, down from 214. And all of that while eating plenty of food (see giant salads above)...it's just good, healthy, clean food! No junk, no chemicals...meats/seafood/chicken/eggs are always organic/grass-fed (or wild-caught), produce is about 80% organic at this point. Nothing on labels that I can't read. Nothing is highly processed. I've started getting comments from coworkers and hubby. My clothes are fitting looser...my size 20 work pants (which fit a little loosely to begin with) now fall off of me, and my size 18 work pants (which were a little snug) are almost to the point of needing a belt. My tummy is much less out there, and my tush is shrinking.

I have some recent pictures of me from my last trip to Kentucky...admittedly NOT the most flattering pics. However, I'm relishing the thought of dressing in the same clothes and taking some "after" pictures!

Speaking of Kentucky (and school), one of my classes this term, Health Promotion and Disease Prevention, has us making a Self-Management Plan (and a journal to go along with it) for 4 weeks. My goal is to jog 3 times per week. As much as I'm stoked about losing weight and eating better, I really need to be exercising. And by exercising I don't mean a leisurely stroll to the park with the kiddos. So this class came at a good time...I can go out for a jog without the kids and tell Travis it's for school!! Hahaha! And hopefully this assignment will set the stage for good long-term habits. Oh, and my "reward" to myself for meeting my goals (which I WILL do, by the way) is buying a pair of Vibram Five Fingers shoes for myself. The only thing better than toe socks? Toe shoes!!

Nursling calling. Oh, my cutie pie is 9 months. He's crawling and is SO cute. And still nursing like a champ, even through the night. It's a fair trade-off, no? No period for disturbed sleep? It's no so bad since we co-sleep...I don't even fully wake up. Yahoo!

Whole30 - Day 12

Day 12? You mean I'm almost halfway there? That just doesn't seem right...time has flown!

So here's my reflection at the almost-halfway point: This is not hard. This is totally possible, even when you're a busy working and schooling mom.

The first few days were a little rough. But from then on? Smooooooth sailing! I don't crave sugar...I don't crave bread...I don't crave anything. The only things that I really miss and will be happy when I can have them again is butter for cooking and my Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But that's just because I want them and miss them.

So how have I been coping with Whole30 when my family isn't doing it with me? The dinners I make are Whole30, with the addition of a starch (potatoes and rice are the faves around here), and I just don't eat the starch but have double portions of the veggie. When Trav goes to Starbucks I just ask him for an iced black coffee, and when he brings it home I pour in some coconut milk. I keep snacks around for myself...nuts, olives, Larabars, etc. for when I'm feeling like a little nosh. The Halloween candy doesn't interest me. As in I don't even take a second (longing) look. And I don't feel like I'm depriving myself of anything.

It has also been easier with MamaG doing it with me. Even though she's thousands of miles away, it's encouraging to know that someone else is right there with you. Everyone at work also knows that I'm eating clean, and it's been amazing to see them make some healthier choices because of me! For instance, instead of getting pizza on my birthday, they went to a mediterranean restaurant and got a salad sans feta topped with chicken for me, and salads with feta and chicken for themselves. It was awesome, and so thoughtful of them to surround me with support.

I'm looking at this and thinking that I could do it for much longer than 30 days. Really this should be my standard way of eating and then just have a treat from time to time. I've lost inches, I'm sure. Clothes are noticeably looser around the waist. But I'm still a heavy chick. I have a long way to go. Speaking of which...I said I'd declare my goals in this post. I think that if I throw in some regular exercise in addition to eating this way, I could actually attain these goals within a year. But I'm not putting a time frame on myself because I don't want to feel like I failed or something. As long as I'm moving forward and losing weight, I'm succeeding. So here goes nothing.

I have three levels of goals in my weight loss journey. Looking at the big picture and seeing that I need to lose over 80 lbs is just really big…huge and daunting. So I am breaking it down by BMI like this:

214 (prior to starting Whole30) – BMI = 36.7 Obese is BMI of 30 or higher. So to get into the “Overweight” category, I need to be...

174 – BMI = 29.9 Overweight is BMI 25-29.9. So to get into the “Normal” category, I need to be...

145 – BMI = 24.9 Normal is BMI 18.5-24.9. So to get into a comfortable spot in Normal, I WANT to be...

130 – BMI = 22.3

So, in pounds that translates to:

214 to 174 = 40 lbs lost

174 to 145 = 29 lbs lost

145 to 130 = 15 lbs lost

____________________

Grand total of 84 lbs lost

Again, I’m not setting a time frame on these, as time frames just seem to be discouraging. As long as I’m making progress and not regressing, I’m happy, even if that means plateauing for a while. I just have to get this right in my head.

Having said that, I do have a loose goal to be in the “Normal” range somewhere by my 31^st birthday. That gives me just over a year to lose about 70 lbs.

I don’t put a lot of stock in BMI as an indicator of overall health, but it seemed like a good point of reference, with ranges and all.

So, in light of all of this, I confessed in my last post that I was going to weigh myself for my birthday, even though we're not supposed to weigh during Whole30. Guess what? I'm down to 202. That's 12 lbs gone so far!! Of course, I don't expect to shed weight at that rate for the duration of the Whole30...in fact I'm pretty sure I have lost little if any weight since then. But my body is looking and feeling different, which is highly encouraging!

Whew. Long post. I'm done though.

P.S. It's awesome to think that, as I move toward my goals, the fact that I'm losing weight and getting healthy is not only a benefit to me, but it's good for my family, and will allow me to be more effective in my career as a midwife. Let's just face it...those ladies are part contortionists the way they maneuver sometimes to accommodate a birthing momma! Much easier to do this without 84 extra lbs hanging on me...no...72 extra pounds. Squeeeee! :)

Whole30 - Day 6

I am really glad that I went back on this. I felt like such a failure for ditching it the first time. It's just that I did NOT have the time to do all of the cooking and food prep that goes into eating clean with everything that was going on. But we'll suffice it to say that I didn't eat real well from that point, added to the stressors (read: stress eating) of another term of grad school, a trip to Kentucky with a baby, etc. Not a good excuse, but there you have it. The bottom line: when I started Whole30 this time I was a whopping 214.

Yeah. Wow. Discouraging. I vowed that I would not be going into my 30's fat, yet here I am. I guess that the bottom line was that I knew what I had to do, I just didn't want to do it. And I covered that up by saying that I didn't have TIME to exercise, to eat right, etc.

Enter my Community Health project on diabetes. Scared the pants off of me. I'm a nurse, and I know the risk factors for diabetes. But something clicked when I did this project. I realized that I had to shape up the way I eat now or else I'm going to be eating like a diabetic and giving myself insulin for the rest of my life! Add in a little exercise, then the weight begins to come off, lessening my risk factors. Makes sense. So I was talking with MamaG one day and asked if we were going to just do it. So we did. The very next morning we started.

The first days this time when very much the same as last time. Starving. Ravenous. Measuring out the snack because I know I'll eat handful after handful of almonds if I don't. Tempted to quit. But this time I had resolve. By day 3 I wasn't starving all day every day anymore. Two eggs and some fruits/veggies filled me up in the morning instead of three. Basically my system is getting used to eating less volume, but more nutrition. It's an amazing thought!

I think last time I was discouraged because it seemed like (in my silly mind) that I was pigeon-holed into eating broiled chicken breasts and steamed veggies. While there is nothing wrong with this, food on Whole30 can be so much more interesting!! I made a curry chicken salad yesterday that was to die for. The only things I did differently than my usual chicken salad? Added curry powder and replaced mayo with mashed avocado and coconut milk. As I was mixing it I was actually saying out loud "I can't WAIT to taste this!"

Which brings me to another lightbulb moment...yes, food is for nourishment and fuel, but it can also be SO enjoyable! I don't have to let go of my love of food to get healthy. I just have to eat clean, healthy food and prepare that awesome, tasty ways. Then not only am I reaching my goal, but I'm doing it with a sense of satisfaction that my food tastes fab AND it's good for me. I've told myself in the past while fad- or crash-dieting "Food is for fuel, not for comfort." Why can't food be comforting? I love food. I love variety. I love all kinds of cuisines. I find a nice, hot, tasty meal very comforting. It fills my belly and gives me a sense of contentment. The catch here is that I just need to make sure that the food that's giving me the comfort is in the appropriate amount (i.e. not gorging myself, but just eating until I'm satisfied) and is the right food (i.e. clean food, fruits and veggies, organic/grass-fed/pastured meats, chicken, and eggs, nuts and seeds, etc.).

Now, for the challenges. I've had to break myself of the habit of licking peanut butter off of my fingers after making sandwiches for the boys, or licking some frosting off after giving them a cupcake at a birthday party. These little sneaky moments that once happened without thinking require thought and intention. I've also been stuffed up since day 3...not sure if this is a detox-ish reaction or that I'm trying to fight a bug and my body is just doing a really good job of fighting it. I've had some headaches, which I'm sure are in part because of diet changes, but also because I've cut my coffee consumption in half. I still drink a boatload of coffee...average of about 3-4 cups per day. Yes, I really was drinking 6-8 cups of java every day prior to this. Yup. Really. And then of course, it takes a little more effort to eat clean. But it's starting to feel routine now, and I have my go-to snacks to tide me over until I have time to make a meal.

I've found that I eat a decent breakfast (usually 2 eggs, either poached or scrambled with some sauteed veggies, fruit like blueberries or cantaloupe, and veggies if I didn't already have them with my eggs), a big lunch (usually a salad of some sort topped with a protein), and a very light supper (leftovers, chicken salad, a soup, or something along those lines). Sometimes no supper. That might be bad, I don't know, but sometimes I'll have just snacked a little bit on some veggies and olives, have started getting some food ready for myself, then Connor needs to be fed. I lay in the bed with him to feed him, then end up falling asleep for the night. The weird part? I don't wake up starving. Just regular ol' hungry. Nice.

I've been taking the kids to the park and power-walking around the track a few times when we go. All in all, that's about 2 miles every time. I'd like to get into jogging or running...I'm just going to have to make the time for myself. Walking with the kids has a more leisurely pace than I'd like. We live in a safer neighborhood now, and with the park and track only 0.37 miles away, it's very convenient, lighted, and safe. The track is 0.25 miles around. Anyhoo, my activity level is gradually going up. Good thing.

Along with eating clean and increasing my activity, my energy level is going up. Thing is, when I finally get tired, I CRASH. I mean, so tired I can't keep my eyes open. Not sure if this is a god thing or a bad thing.

Time to run and get us ready for church.

Oh, and for the record, I'm going to break a Whole30 rule tomorrow. It's my birthday, and I'm going to weigh myself. I want to know what I weigh going into my 30's. That's the only reason why. I know Whole30 isn't all about weight loss, but let's just face it...when you're as heavy as I am and you go Whole30, you're going to lose weight. I think it might be encouraging to help me stick with it, and a reality check as I go into my 30's.

This is my year. I'm going to do it, and I'm going to do it right. I'm going to eat well, get active, and become healthy. I made goals for myself (without timelines) which I'll declare next post.

Later tater.

Whole30 - Days 4 and 5...

...have been a blur of sickness. I don't know what it was...stomach bug, food poisoning, whatever, but it had me in bed with a 102 degree fever, headache, severe muscle and joint aches, and (to put it nicely) GI distress. I was feeling kinda' bad before I went to bed Tuesday night, but thought maybe I just overdid the fats a little that day. Then on Wednesday morning I realized that something was very wrong. I tried to get ready for work and didn't get past brushing my teeth and hair...I had to lay down. Long story short, it was a VERY bad day.

Eventually, though, I felt like I needed something in my system. I tried a banana, and only got a couple of bites in before I decided that was a bad idea. Drank lots of water, still needed a little something. Had 1/4 cup of 100% juice...helped pep me up a little, but still wasn't what I needed. Had a handful of blueberries...they were wonderful, and they stayed down! Seriously, I would have given my right arm for some Ritz crackers and a bottle of Reed's Ginger Brew. It was so hard not to cave. I know juice isn't technically on Whole30, but I think I had a small enough amount for it to be legal.

I got up this morning with a low grade fever, feeling a little better, but still generally like crap. I putzed around, drank water, and rested in the recliner. Around noon, I decided that I needed some chicken soup. I have to say that it sucked to not be able to grab a can of soup out of the pantry and heat it up. I had to make it from scratch. So I got a bag of homemade chicken broth out of the freezer and thawed it. Chopped up a bunch veggies and sauteed...onions, garlic, carrots, celery...very veggie-rich...then tossed in all that was left of the chicken that I made the other night. Simmered for a few minutes, salt and pepper, then into the bowl and into my belly. And it was SO good. My fever broke late this morning, and the muscle and joint aches are slowly fading. Hurray for feeling better.

My husband and a friend suggested that this might have been a result of "detoxing". I wasn't sure about that...would I get a fever and everything? Maybe my immune system was just low, so I got sick easily. I do seem to see a common thread of illness in the first week of Whole30 in blogged experiences that I've read.

That's it. I need to get horizontal again. I'm starting to get a little woozy.

Oh, and yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary. :) Too bad I spent it sick! It's amazing to me that we've been married for that long...it doesn't seem like 9 years! Through all of the ups and downs, there's not a single person alive that I'd have rather plowed through them with than my hubby. I love you, babe!