I have to say that I got a bit offended at work today. I had a patient with a new (very bad) diagnosis, a grim prognosis, and the news of it deeply effected both himself and his family more so than it ordinarily might have, due to the circumstances surrounding his getting the illness in the first place. I've had this patient for several days, and very often he's tearful, withdrawn, and clearly depressed. I'm not a huge fan of pharmaceuticals, but I suggested to the intern that she might consider a psych consult, a spiritual referral, and/or an antidepressant/anti-anxiety type of medication. She then said "Medications aren't the answer to everything. He's just getting used to his diagnosis. And besides, I need to treat the whole person, not just give meds." Now, part of me wants to shout "Hallelujah!" from the rooftops that there's actually a new Doc out there who isn't ready to pop a million pills into their patients. However, I resented the insinuation that I think that meds are the answer to everything. That is the farthest thing from the truth!! Even on our crazy floor, I'll be the first nurse to not push Ativan/Valium/Haldol on a patient, unrestrain them, and take them out to the nurse's station for some interaction to help calm them down. I hate giving meds unnecessarily. But I really felt that this man needed some help. It was within my scope of practice to order a spiritual referral without a Doc's order, but I couldn't do anything besides that, and trying to support him and his family the best that I could. That had me bent out of shape for a good part of the day.
Now, for what made my day! I seldom take the boys to Toys 'R Us because they turn into rabid little toymongers. But Trav was buying some fireworks from a stand in the Toys 'R Us parking lot, so I took the boys in. Trav wanted me to get a puzzle of the U.S.A., since he's trying to teach Deklan a little bit of elementary geography (where we live, where Popi and Noni live, where Mum-Mum lives, where Grammy and Pappy live, where PaPa and MaMa live, etc.) so I picked one up. Then I wandered over to the Melissa & Doug section to lust after some cool (expensive) wooden toys. As I perused the aisle, a set of emergency vehicles caught Deklan's eye...he wanted it! I took a look at the price, then did a double-take. It was marked down from $19.99 to $2.00!!! Surely that can't be right, I thought. So I let Deklan get it, and headed to the register. Sure enough, less than $7 for my entire purchase! So, I ran back to the van, told Trav that I had to run back in, grabbed up the remaining 4 sets, and hauled them to the register. It was there that I realized that, not only were they $2, but they were also an additional 20% off! Four sets of Melissa & Doug rescue vehicles for less than $7!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes! So I got a total of 5 sets, and I'll be going to the other Toys 'R Us in town tomorrow (if they're open) or Sunday to see if they're on sale at the other one as well. I saved almost $100 on those toys! I'm still in disbelief.
I'm so fried. I just finished my fifth consecutive day at work, and I'm just so incredibly done with this week. I'm so glad that I have the holiday weekend off. I get to recuperate a little bit. I have an orientee who is a new grad, and is very, VERY labor intensive. This person doesn't pick things up very quickly, and has been on orientation for 6 weeks with another nurse, who finally threw her hands up and refused to orient him anymore. My boss said that she's putting him with me for 2-3 weeks, then she's going to review his progress. If he's not progressing satisfactorily, she may fire him. I sincerely hope that it doesn't come to that, and I have every confidence that he can grow to be a good, competent nurse. But 2-3 weeks isn't long. So I've been trying SO HARD this week to teach him, to be patient, to explain things, and yet to give him enough independence so that he can learn what's best for him and develop his skills. It's exhausting. It's flattering that my boss thinks that he has a fighting chance in my hands for a while, but it's still exhausting. And if he fails, then I'm going to feel like a failure for failing him. I hope this all goes well.
I'm still telling people that I miscarried. The news is taking longer than I thought to get around. It still hurts every time that I have to explain that I'm no longer pregnant. I hope it doesn't take long for us to conceive once we decide that it's time to officially drop our guard.