Yeah. Wow. Discouraging. I vowed that I would not be going into my 30's fat, yet here I am. I guess that the bottom line was that I knew what I had to do, I just didn't want to do it. And I covered that up by saying that I didn't have TIME to exercise, to eat right, etc.
Enter my Community Health project on diabetes. Scared the pants off of me. I'm a nurse, and I know the risk factors for diabetes. But something clicked when I did this project. I realized that I had to shape up the way I eat now or else I'm going to be eating like a diabetic and giving myself insulin for the rest of my life! Add in a little exercise, then the weight begins to come off, lessening my risk factors. Makes sense. So I was talking with MamaG one day and asked if we were going to just do it. So we did. The very next morning we started.
The first days this time when very much the same as last time. Starving. Ravenous. Measuring out the snack because I know I'll eat handful after handful of almonds if I don't. Tempted to quit. But this time I had resolve. By day 3 I wasn't starving all day every day anymore. Two eggs and some fruits/veggies filled me up in the morning instead of three. Basically my system is getting used to eating less volume, but more nutrition. It's an amazing thought!
I think last time I was discouraged because it seemed like (in my silly mind) that I was pigeon-holed into eating broiled chicken breasts and steamed veggies. While there is nothing wrong with this, food on Whole30 can be so much more interesting!! I made a curry chicken salad yesterday that was to die for. The only things I did differently than my usual chicken salad? Added curry powder and replaced mayo with mashed avocado and coconut milk. As I was mixing it I was actually saying out loud "I can't WAIT to taste this!"
Which brings me to another lightbulb moment...yes, food is for nourishment and fuel, but it can also be SO enjoyable! I don't have to let go of my love of food to get healthy. I just have to eat clean, healthy food and prepare that awesome, tasty ways. Then not only am I reaching my goal, but I'm doing it with a sense of satisfaction that my food tastes fab AND it's good for me. I've told myself in the past while fad- or crash-dieting "Food is for fuel, not for comfort." Why can't food be comforting? I love food. I love variety. I love all kinds of cuisines. I find a nice, hot, tasty meal very comforting. It fills my belly and gives me a sense of contentment. The catch here is that I just need to make sure that the food that's giving me the comfort is in the appropriate amount (i.e. not gorging myself, but just eating until I'm satisfied) and is the right food (i.e. clean food, fruits and veggies, organic/grass-fed/pastured meats, chicken, and eggs, nuts and seeds, etc.).
Now, for the challenges. I've had to break myself of the habit of licking peanut butter off of my fingers after making sandwiches for the boys, or licking some frosting off after giving them a cupcake at a birthday party. These little sneaky moments that once happened without thinking require thought and intention. I've also been stuffed up since day 3...not sure if this is a detox-ish reaction or that I'm trying to fight a bug and my body is just doing a really good job of fighting it. I've had some headaches, which I'm sure are in part because of diet changes, but also because I've cut my coffee consumption in half. I still drink a boatload of coffee...average of about 3-4 cups per day. Yes, I really was drinking 6-8 cups of java every day prior to this. Yup. Really. And then of course, it takes a little more effort to eat clean. But it's starting to feel routine now, and I have my go-to snacks to tide me over until I have time to make a meal.
I've found that I eat a decent breakfast (usually 2 eggs, either poached or scrambled with some sauteed veggies, fruit like blueberries or cantaloupe, and veggies if I didn't already have them with my eggs), a big lunch (usually a salad of some sort topped with a protein), and a very light supper (leftovers, chicken salad, a soup, or something along those lines). Sometimes no supper. That might be bad, I don't know, but sometimes I'll have just snacked a little bit on some veggies and olives, have started getting some food ready for myself, then Connor needs to be fed. I lay in the bed with him to feed him, then end up falling asleep for the night. The weird part? I don't wake up starving. Just regular ol' hungry. Nice.
I've been taking the kids to the park and power-walking around the track a few times when we go. All in all, that's about 2 miles every time. I'd like to get into jogging or running...I'm just going to have to make the time for myself. Walking with the kids has a more leisurely pace than I'd like. We live in a safer neighborhood now, and with the park and track only 0.37 miles away, it's very convenient, lighted, and safe. The track is 0.25 miles around. Anyhoo, my activity level is gradually going up. Good thing.
Along with eating clean and increasing my activity, my energy level is going up. Thing is, when I finally get tired, I CRASH. I mean, so tired I can't keep my eyes open. Not sure if this is a god thing or a bad thing.
Time to run and get us ready for church.
Oh, and for the record, I'm going to break a Whole30 rule tomorrow. It's my birthday, and I'm going to weigh myself. I want to know what I weigh going into my 30's. That's the only reason why. I know Whole30 isn't all about weight loss, but let's just face it...when you're as heavy as I am and you go Whole30, you're going to lose weight. I think it might be encouraging to help me stick with it, and a reality check as I go into my 30's.
This is my year. I'm going to do it, and I'm going to do it right. I'm going to eat well, get active, and become healthy. I made goals for myself (without timelines) which I'll declare next post.