I'm at a weird spot in my life. Since Gavin was born, we've had a couple of pregnancy "scares" that turned out to be nothing. We had one such episode a week or so ago. But now, instead of feeling glad that I'm not pregnant and being relieved, I find that I'm sad. I wish I were pregnant. I miss it. I would love to have another baby. I would love to have a blooming belly again. Baby fever? I don't really think so. But these emotions make me wonder if it's not time that we start thinking again about having another baby. I look at our life and think "My gosh, what terrible timing it would be if I get pregnant now!" But at the same time, neither of our sons were conceived at a "good" time. I thought I would want to wait another year or so before thinking about having another. But here I am, with such a desire. Strange. Maybe if we go staff here in Fresno and are in a solid place for a while, we'll talk about it.
Well, I just had a chance to sit over coffee and talk about this with Trav. We're both hoping that a long-term contract works out so we can stay in Fresno for a while longer. Well, Trav said that if, in 6 months we either go staff or have a long-term contract set up so we have some stability, he'd be all for trying again in July! I hope this actually happens!