Friday, June 19, 2009

Life experience and ministering...

There are so many things that have happened to me in my life that could be considered "traumatizing".  Yet after they happen, I just think to myself  "Well, that's another thing that I'll be able to help someone else through someday!"  Seriously.  I hope and pray that we never have to deal with a major tragedy, and one of my most frequent prayers is that our whole family will get to go up in the Rapture together, that I will never lose anyone close to me.  But all of these other things, including my most recent loss, I consider to be preparation for the life of service in the ministry that I hope we have one day.  Today I joined the ranks of the women who have experienced the physical, emotional, and mental pain of losing an unborn child.  That's not a good thing, or a fun thing, but I feel different after this.  I feel older.  I feel...well, not necessarily wiser, but more capable of understanding.  I'm understanding the twinges of sadness that you feel when you see a pregnant woman at the market, or drive past a maternity store, or even things as small as putting away my Pregnancy Tea and exchanging it for my Female Toner Tea for my nightly cup, trying to help my uterus and hormones get back to normal.  I understand the wondering why it happened, why God saw fit to allow this loss.  I also understand (thanks Mom) resting in Him and knowing that, no matter if we understand it or not, He is in control and loves us more than anything.

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